End-of-life wishes
You may have had conversations with your loved ones about your thoughts and desires for the end of life, but these discussions aren't enough. When the time comes for your loved ones to make the decisions about your end-of-life care, they will most likely be stressed and upset, so even if they remember what your end-of-life care wishes are they might not be able to properly communicate it with the doctors and nurses. Some hospitals will not take verbal instructions from family members so even if they remember what you wanted, the hospitals will use any means necessary to keep you alive.
One of the most important things you can do for the people who mean the most to you is preparing for your end of life and for when you are gone. You must have written documents in place about your end-of-life wishes and get copies to your doctors, and your loved ones. Sometimes these documents are referred to as living wills or advance healthcare directives. There is a slight difference between the two but they often get used interchangeably. You can find copies of your states advanced directive forms on the AARP website.
Although as a society we don’t like to talk about death and dying, most people have a wish that they will die peacefully, with dignity, and without any pain. Having your end-of-life instructions and financial affairs in order will give you and your loved one’s peace of mind. Making sure that everyone who will be involved in decision-making has copies and knows where all of the documents are located is important. The choices are up to each individual and it will not always go as planned but it is more likely to happen how you would like it to if you have a written plan in place.
When you plan for your death, you can voice your wish and get it in writing which will help to make it a reality. Maybe you would like to be at home in your room, with flowers and soft lighting, your favorite music playing, and surrounded by loved ones. Or you may hope to be in a facility where you know you will have doctors and nurses around to assist and to keep you comfortable.
You hope that everything will be okay after you are gone and that your family will be able to cope without you. Once you have your end-of-life wishes in writing you can rest assured that your wishes will be followed and that your family will be looked after throughout the entire process.
Death doula’s, like me, are trained in how to help you begin to think about what you want at the end of your life, how to get it down in writing, and how to have conversations with the people you care about. As a death doula I can help to advocate for you, making sure that the doctors and nurses know what your end-of-life care wishes are and help your family to understand what they are experiencing.
If you would like assistance getting your end-of-life wishes in writing, click the button below to schedule a time for me to assist you in getting you and your loved ones prepared.
