What is a death doula and why do you need one?

A death doula is a non-medical person trained to care for someone holistically, taking into account the whole person's needs at the end of life. The doula helps to make sure their emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical needs are met.

Death doulas are people who support people in the end-of-life process, much like a midwife or birth doula does with the birthing process.

Death doulas recognize death as a natural, accepted, and honored part of life that can be celebrated and not feared.

Death doulas embrace the unique life journey each human is on with no judgment or ideas of what a good or bad death looks like for you. The idea is to have clients pass wherever they would like, whether at home or in a hospital. We work together with our clients, their families, and their medical to make sure that the client gets the care they want at the end of life.

Support to guide you through the death and dying process.

People often wonder, if they have hospice care why would they need a death doula?

Hospice is medical care, death doulas do no medical care at all. Hospice staff tends to not have the time to spend with patients as they would like, so death doulas are a perfect addition to hospice care. Both prioritize comfort and quality of life for the client who is terminally ill, but the doula can help make sure that the client's wishes for their death are met. Most death doulas are working for themselves and have more freedom to work any hours that are needed, depending on the doula some will even be on call for their clients to be with them throughout the active dying phase.

Death doulas are there to be present and hold space for whatever unfolds. This means removing individual judgment and opinions from interactions and focusing solely on the client's journey. Our beliefs stay with us, they are not for a death doula to push their beliefs around death, dying, and the afterlife onto their clients.

My clients are someone who wants to face death with a sense of peace and clarity. Whether diagnosed with a terminal illness or facing the idea that death comes for all of us, I can help to navigate the fears and concerns to help people face death with a greater sense of peace, comfort, and completion. People are often afraid of “being a burden” on others at the end of life. Planning and extra support can reduce these feelings as well as to help ensure that you get what you desire at the end of life. I help my clients rethink what it means to die and approach the end-of-life transition with a sense of wonder and spirituality.

In addition to creating an end-of-life plan, a doula can help you plan your funeral or memorial services. There are many options for funerals and burials so a big part of our services is to help provide education on the options that people have so they can make the choice that is right for them. Using a death doula to help with funeral planning can save you money because if you plan for burial and funeral options, you can make those decisions when you have time and space to consider what you want. Sometimes when someone dies, loved ones feel pressure to “spend money” to show their respect and love for the dead. When you add in the emotional aspect of losing a loved one, it can be hard to make the best decisions, planning makes it less likely to lead to emotional buying decisions and removes this burden from your loved ones so they can grieve.

End of life support can help prepare you and your loved ones for the end of life.

A death doula comes to their client with attention to their needs, respect for their beliefs, and is ready to serve them and their families. Also, things like legacy projects or discussing “unresolved” conflicts can occur with guidance, and this can help the dying and their loved ones face death with more peace.

Filling out your Advanced Directive will help save your loved ones the distress of having to make the end-of-life decisions themselves during a crisis when these choices can be made with the client and discussed with caregivers beforehand. Family and caregivers won’t be put into a position of wondering if they should or shouldn’t offer tube feeding, or should or shouldn’t continue life support.

If you are acting as a caregiver for a loved one at the end of their life or are going through the end of life yourself and need support I offer 1:1 virtual or in-person support for caregivers and in-person support for someone who is dying. Book a free 30-minute call to see if I would be able to support you in any way.